Some days I wonder about this whole blogging thing…
There are days when I wake up with an entire post already prewritten in my head, and I’m chomping at the bit to get it down before I forget. Other times I’ll read an article or other blog and it sets something off where I absolutely need to respond. There are also times when an idea will stew in my brain until I’ve found the words to properly express myself.
And of course, there are times when I have nothing to say. And today seems to be one of those days.
Well, that’s not entirely true, but you don’t really want to hear about bug bites the size of golf balls, the squirrel that got trapped in our basement for 3 days, or my current penchant for Arnold Palmers, do you?
Perhaps I have little to say because I spent this past weekend in NYC, including a night away from EZ (who slept over my folks’ house). There was little parenting involved, really (and a Zach Galifinakis sighting, but that’s neither here nor there), so what would I have to write about?
The more I thought about it, however, the more I realized that the whole “no parenting for a night” was actually a pretty big event in our household.
It was EZ’s first night away from both of us (we’ve previously had solo nights away for various reasons). Some might think that we waited too long to have a night away from our 4.5 year old – I know my own folks have been pushing us for an overnight for a while now. But to me, it felt just right.
It was EZ’s idea, and while there were moments of anxiousness leading up to the big night (for both of us!), we talked through them and he seemed genuinely excited. The evening went off without a hitch…
We got to enjoy subway rides without somebody tugging on our arms showing us every.single.bit of graffiti we passed, and ate a leisurely 3 hour (!!!) dinner with friends at a delicious restaurant.
And an hour and a half away, EZ had a blast with his grandparents, eating ice cream and watching movies. Both MD and I enjoyed ourselves and are already planning our next overnight away, despite the lingering whispers of guilt.
Yeah, guilt. Over, you know, having fun and doing things without my kid. In my head, I knew how illogical that even sounded. Of course I’m entitled to a night away from my son where I can have fun, let loose and not have that responsibility for a while. But that didn’t stop my heart from feeling that small tug.
The various feelings battled themselves out in my head (and heart). I enjoyed the night away with MD…we had fun being childless for the evening with little responsibility. At the same time, I missed my son, despite knowing he was having fun and enjoying himself as well. In the end, I figured that there was enough room inside of me to allow for both…I could still have a night out while missing my son.
While I’m sure that the feeling will lessen the more we do overnights away, it’s interesting to me that I still had those thoughts. I’m trying not to be hard on myself or judgmental, just observant, really.
It helps when others observe these things as well.
As I collected my thoughts on this topic, it almost felt serendipitous to come across this article by Mayim Bialik. She writes about something similar (although she was away from her kids for longer, for work related reasons) and I appreciate having another voice out there sharing my thoughts.
And, as always…I’d love to hear yours.